Being a creative professional takes a huge amount of vulnerability and humility. Being brave enough to share your inner creative dialogue in a public space is what sets us apart from a typical person. We don’t tend to fall in line with the “accepted narratives” of society. We tend to develop our own theories and truths. Most of all, we are the people who are willing to point out the discrepancies, injustices, inequalities, and under-addressed phenomena in artistic ways. We are basically society’s whistle-blowers. We are typically the ones that raise our hands and say, “Hey guys. Wait a minute. Let’s look at this.”
That can often be a very lonely place to be and more importantly, creates the perfect environment for the scapegoat dynamic. Instead of a community looking at their actual problems, they tend to focus their energy on dismissing and invalidating the person pointing out the problems. I say all this to say that if you have a passion to be a musician, you’re going to have to learn to get comfortable with a pattern of dismissal, rejection, and non-validation from people who aren’t willing to hear or experience what you have to give.
This is why it is vital that we place high importance on individual value, esteem, and self-confidence. When talking to clients, I get asked this question a lot, “How do I build confidence in myself?” It doesn’t matter if you’re just starting out as a musician, or you’ve been doing this for a long time, confidence is something we all struggle with on some level.
What’s helped me to build my own sense of self-worth and confidence is embracing my flaws and learning to be comfortable with myself. If this is something you’d like to grow in, read on below. In this article, I’ll share 6 ways you can build on your confidence, tackle self-doubt, and thrive on being yourself.
Learn to stand alone in your truth.
Get comfortable with your limitations and flaws. Embrace and lean into them. They are what make you unique. If you are not a great vocalist, be okay with that. Know that as a musician, you don’t have to be great or perfect. You just have to be able to move people. Be honest with yourself about your looks, your musical abilities, your uniqueness. Don’t try to hide it or feel shameful about it. If there’s something you can do to improve, by all means, work on improving yourself (more on that below). But don’t obsess over it and don’t allow it to block your success.
Build a Support System
One of the most self-supportive things you can do to enhance your creative experience is to surround yourself with a team of supporters that you trust. This goes beyond your followers. These are actual friends and people you can get deep with about your journey. These are fellow musicians, close/safe family members, BFFs, significant others, etc. Make it a point to talk to them on a consistent basis. Bounce ideas off of them and utilize them as soundboards. Get a mentor or a career coach. Build up a circle of people where you can exchange nurture, support, and uplift.
This type of support system can walk alongside you during times of difficulty. If you get kicked out of the band they’ll be there to help you through it. If you don’t get a call back from your recent audition, talk to someone from your support system for reassurance. Let them hold you up when you are down. It’s very important to have a way to vent and release frustration as an artist so that you can be able to pour out your passion from a place of health and clarity of mind.
Make Self Improvements
Since we are not perfect, there are areas where we can improve. As I mentioned earlier, you may feel self-conscious about your looks or your musical abilities. There may be other areas in which you feel lacking as well. Invest in yourself and work on improving in those areas. Take vocal or instrument lessons. Enhance your look. Wear clothing that suits you and makes you feel like a queen or king. Invest in courses that will give you more knowledge or skill.
The more you invest in yourself whether it’s knowledge, skill, or personal appearance, the more you’ll feel confident. There are many ways you can improve yourself…
• Music Lessons (vocal, instrument)
• Improv Course
• Therapy
• Music Engineering Courses
• Branding Courses
• Books
• Mentorship
Learn to Love On Yourself
Another thing that plagues us as artists, is negative self-talk and feelings of inadequacy. We tend to compare ourselves to fellow musicians and replay negative thoughts about ourselves in our minds. I struggle with this. I’m constantly having to reframe my thoughts to be more positive. I find myself thinking that I’m not good enough for something, or I’m not as good as another musician, or I’m a terrible guitarist. When I think these thoughts I replace them with positive affirmations such as I am enough, or my playing style is my own, and I am unique.
Sometimes reframing your mindset might look like self-care activities such as journaling, taking a day off, or treating yourself to a new electronic gadget simply because you’re worth it. It takes a lot to cultivate a positive and healthy mindset in someone with massive creative ability like a musician. We are natural vessels for holding the weight of the world. That can easily sneak into the way we see ourselves. That’s why it’s important to find ways to care for yourself, blow off steam, and let yourself re-balance.
Self-love is also a great reminder that you’re worth it and are valued.
Get More Stage Experience
One of the best ways to build confidence is to get more experience being in vulnerable situations. Being on stage or in a space where you have to perform or share your passion with others can be very nerve-wracking. As a musician, you are sharing your internal creative process to people outside of your safe space. You have no idea what they might think or how they will receive your work. It’s scary.
But as a creative entrepreneur, it’s something you’re going to have to get used to. Learn how to thrive with this discomfort by putting yourself on stage more. The more stage experience you have, the more comfortable you’ll be on stage. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
Curate Positivity
Keep a journal of positive mantras and read them every day. Read them when you’re feeling down. Memorize them. They will help you stay positive. Feel free to use these…
• I am strong.
• I was made for this.
• I am fully capable of doing this.
• I am here for a reason.
• My gift is for people to enjoy.
• I am great at what I do.
• I belong here.
• My music helps people (fill in the blank).
• I am enough.
• I am worthy.
Also, if you have gotten any positive reviews, keep them in a folder and go back to them and read them. Keep them accessible especially for times of difficulty. Collect books to help you build more confidence.
The Positive Thinking Workbook: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Build a Strong Foundation for a Positive Mindset
Decrease your stress, anxiety, and depression while also improving your motivation, health, and satisfaction with life through the power of positive thinking. This easy and accessible workbook provides the tools and exercises you need to build a strong, sustainable foundation for a more hopeful outlook on life. Get the book.
I had an experience a while back that really demonstrated the huge difference self-confidence can make on your overall success. I was doing some street team stuff for myself passing out demo CDs downtown. I’m a very introverted person, so it’s really hard for me to get out and be in the limelight. This is ironic since I’m a performer. But in real life, I much prefer being in the background. So, when it came time for me to walk up to total strangers and offer my demo CD, I was very shy and demure. I was afraid to bother people. I was afraid of what they might think of me and my music. I was afraid of what they might say to me. I was afraid of possible rejection. There were many things about this situation that made me feel incredibly uncomfortable and my behavior showed it. My speaking voice was very light and muted. I only went up to people I considered “safe.” My approach was more permission-based – asking if they wanted it rather than handing it to them suggestively. Everything about my presence was unassuming.
After a while of doing that, I realized I wasn’t getting a great response and decided to change my entire approach. So I imagined myself as a large male bouncer at a nightclub in New York City. That street corner I was on, became mine and anyone wanting to get through needed my permission. I spoke in a louder voice. I added a lot more enthusiasm and excitement in my tone. I approached everyone without fear. I practically shoved my CD in people’s faces. I commanded attention and faked all the confidence in the world. The difference in reaction was profound! People started paying attention. I gave out a lot more CDs that way. I started great conversations with people. I added people to my mailing list and made some new fans. The contrasting results had me in awe. That one experience convinced me to work on self-confidence as an overall habit, especially in my music career.
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Having confidence as a musician can get you more opportunities, more fans, and ultimately more money. It creates opportunities for you to take action and make things happen while minimizing the fears or anxiety associated with putting yourself out there. Self-confidence helps you to walk and thrive in your rightful authority.
Give yourself time to grow into the person you want to be. Don’t be too hard or too critical of yourself. Pay attention to your inner thought life and monitor those negative thoughts. Think responsibly. Reframe negative thinking. Be conscious about who you allow into your personal space. Validate yourself. Having confidence in yourself gives you the ability to put concentration on your positive attributes both internally and externally for others to see. You can do this!
Do you struggle with self-confidence? Do you have any personal confidence-building stories you’d like to share? Tell us in the comments section below.
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This is a great article, Anitra! It contains a very positive message, useful advice and is nicely worded.
All the best,
Astra.
Thanks Astra and thanks for stopping by! I hope all is well with you.